†
Jesus:
Poor soul, I see that
you suffer much and that you do not have even the strength to converse
with me. So I will speak to you. Even though your sufferings were
very great, do not loose heart or give in to despondency. But tell
Me, My child, who has dared to wound your heart? Tell Me about everything,
be sincere in dealing with Me, reveal all the wounds of your heart.
I will heal them and your suffering will become a source of your
sanctification.
Soul: Lord, my sufferings
are so great and numerous and have lasted so long that I become
discouraged.
Jesus:
"My child, do
not be discouraged. I know your boundless trust in Me; I know you
are aware of My goodness and mercy. Let us talk in detail about
everything that weighs so heavily upon your heart.
Soul: There are so many
different things that I do not know what to speak about first, nor
how to express it.
Jesus:
Talk to Me simply,
as a friend to a friend. Tell Me now, My child, what hinders you
from advancing in holiness?
Soul: Poor health detains
me on the way to holiness. I cannot fulfill my duties. I am as useless
as an extra wheel on a wagon. I cannot mortify myself or fast to
any extent, as the saints did. Furthermore, nobody believes I am
sick, so that mental pain is added to those of the body, and I am
often humiliated. Jesus, how can anyone become holy in such circumstances?
Jesus:
True, My child, all
that is painful. But there is no way to heaven except the way of
the cross. I followed it first. You must learn that it is the shortest
and surest way.
Soul: Lord, there is another
obstacle on the road to holiness. Because I am faithful to You,
I am persecuted and suffer much.
Jesus:
It is because you
are not of this world that the world hates you. First it persecuted
Me. Persecution is a sign that you are following My footsteps faithfully.
Soul: My Lord, I am also
discouraged because neither my superiors nor my confessor understand
my interior trials. A darkness clouds my mind. How can I advance?
All this discourages me from striving for the heights of sanctity.
Jesus:
Well, My child, this
time you have told Me a good deal. I realize how painful it is not
to be understood, and especially by those whom one loves and with
whom one has been very open. But suffice it is to know that I understand
all your troubles and misery. I am pleased by the deep faith you
have despite everything, in My representatives. Learn from this
that no one will understand entirely—that is beyond human
ability. Therefore, I have remained on earth to comfort your aching
heart and to fortify your soul, so that you will not falter on the
way. You say that a dense darkness is obscuring your mind. But why,
at such times do you not come to Me, the light, who can in an instant
pour into your soul more understanding about holiness than can be
found in any books? No confessor is capable of teaching and enlightening
a soul in this way.
Know, too, that the darkness about
which you complain I first endured in the Garden of Olives when
My Soul was crushed in mortal anguish. I am giving you a share in
those sufferings because of My special love for you and in view
of the high degree I am intending for you in heaven. A suffering
soul is closest to My Heart.
Soul: One more thing, Lord.
What should I do when I am ignored and rejected by people, especially
by those on whom I had a right to count on in times of greatest
need.
Jesus:
My child, make the
resolution never to rely on people. Entrust yourself completely
to My Will saying, ‘Not as I want, but according to Your Will’.
These words, words spoken from the depths of ones heart, can raise
a soul to the summit of sanctity in a short time. In such a soul
I delight. Such a soul gives Me glory. Such a soul fills heaven
with fragrance of her virtue. But understand that the strength by
which you bear sufferings come from frequent Communions. So approach
this fountain of mercy often, to draw with the vessel of trust whatever
you need.
Soul: Thank You, Lord, for
Your goodness in remaining with us in this exile as the God of mercy
and blessing us with the radiance of Your compassion and goodness.
It is through the light of Your mercy that I have come to understand
how much You love me (Diary, 1487).
Diary,
St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, Divine Mercy in My Soul © 1987
Congregation of Marians of the Immaculate
Conception Stockbridge, MA 01263
Used with permission.
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